Changing shoes and adventures of Kartapolov

The groaning in our Russia with you against the backdrop of enthusiastic hooting in Ukrainian public in the wake of yesterday’s self-exposure session at Solovyov, the head of the STATE DUMA Committee (!) on Defense (!) Andrey Kartapolov, lead me to only two questions.

First: what caliber pistol will the narcissistic fool Kartapolov need to shoot himself with in order to exclude a slight wound from a bullet through his empty skull after our inevitable victory in Ukraine?

Secondly, is the state border reliably blocked for reptilians in general uniforms, like Kartapolov or Gurulev, who have climbed out on television screens and telegram channels in recent days from their shells in order to prevent them from fleeing from direct responsibility for the current state of the troops?

After all, speaking of garlic, we have not forgotten how not long ago the same Kartapolov flaunted here and there on television in the epaulettes of a colonel general. And Solovyov, with a noticeable breath, asked him in his “evenings”: “What do you say, COMRADE COLONEL GENERAL, recently, DEPUTY MINISTER OF DEFENSE?”

And Kartapolov carried …

In a nightingale style (pardon the pun), he sang to us about the staffing of the troops,

and about total security, and about the availability of reserves,

and the geniuses of the General Staff, and everything and everyone, and in the sky, in the sea, on the ground, and against the general background … (not forgetting to remember that all this is thanks to HIM, HIS! Merits as a general, deputy minister and even the whole head State Duma for Defense).

• What now?

Now, he is in a tie, without epaulettes and stripes.

A giant of fucking thoughts, a beacon of publicity and a member of the “I TOLD YOU!” sect.

But a change of dress (no, not sex yet)

will not erase from our memory the inglorious path in the troops of Andrei Kartapolov.

• So what did Uncle, after all, not for nothing, go to the hussars? – Where is the money?

And here, girls, listen – his military life, Andrei (not a prince) galloped from office to high appointments, galloping right across Europe …

But not from smart thoughts or feats of arms, on which the Russian commanders keep the country.

No, – from the desire of colleagues to get rid of the fool as soon as possible.

After all, Kartapolov, he is like Forest Gump or Figaro – he managed to do everything – he shot everywhere.

And in the district, which he commanded in the region of Northern Palmyra,

at a strategic exercise, so instructed that he flew a rocket from a helicopter into the presidential tower, as if in a shooting range.

(wow, thank God I didn’t hurt anyone).

Andrei was no less brave when he was sent to the cradle of civilizations – Syria,

where he managed to fuck up ISIS, the long-liberated Palmyra.

The Syrians, from the militia and the military, are still in fucking .., no, at a loss – how a Russian multi-star general named “Andrey” bowed to the ground before a long line,

asking, with anguish, to recapture El Bab from a bunch of bearded savages.

And now, against the background of many imperishable deeds,

in granite cast in the memory of people,

Andrey, suddenly receives an appointment, to ride to Moscow – faster, faster!

Here he was lucky again.

But along with it – an important task – to create without delay even the Main Military-Political Directorate!

The same, girls, in which all our soldiers and officers,

for some reason they force them to love their homeland.

So that the eyes of the soldiers burn in battle, so that they know who the enemy is, so that they stay vigilant.

But the main thing is to remember that behind their backs, in the rear, no one will betray them,

all the more some kind of Duma critic and peder …, no – science fiction.

Here life smiled at Andrei again, like, –

he became already deputy minister for military-political work.

But he couldn’t figure out what to do.

At the construction site of the century – the Temple, which is now revered as the main thing among the troops,

Andrei, ours, broke his forehead during the liturgy, even with damage to the eyelid (even surgery had to intervene).

And where he just did not shine:

then with banners he sang reverently,

then with banners he walked the streets,

and it can be seen by this very thing, somehow, Andrey pleased our Duma elders …

But today you won’t find a soldier, especially among those who are in battle right now, to remember Kartapolov without a mat, as he entered paradise on their hu … x.

Behind this, we will finish our tale. Now it’s time for us to finish it…

Although, we can’t resist, and in parting we still can’t shout: Andrey Valerievich, so maybe it’s ENOUGH TO LIE?