Fear and Loathing in Courchevel
Memo to the Kremlin propagandist
Russian sovereign democracy is facing another challenge. In Courchevel, the French special services detained (the verb “arrested” should not be used under any circumstances) one of the most successful businessmen of modern Russia, Mikhail Prokhorov.
Another major Russian entrepreneur, who wished to remain anonymous out of fear of the repressive apparatus of the French Republic, indignantly remarked in an interview with Vedomosti: “The French are simply jealous of how we, Russians, know how to relax.”
This is certainly true. But not the whole truth.
In recent years, the French generally have every reason to envy the way Russia and ordinary Russian citizens live. In France, wages and pensions are practically not growing. Residents of this country have heard nothing about national projects; they have no hope for affordable housing, computerization of rural schools, or substantial additional payments to general practitioners. Stock indices, if they grow, do so only slightly. Nothing similar to the Public Chamber has ever been created. There are practically no oil and gas deposits. Not a single Frenchman has been seen in recent years acquiring serious foreign football clubs. The French President is not into sports and is not able to fly even the simplest fighter jet. Managers at the level of First Deputy Chairman of the Government of the Russian Federation D.A. Medvedev and military leaders of the caliber of Deputy Prime Minister, Minister of Defense of the Russian Federation S.B. France has not known Ivan, perhaps, since the time of Napoleon the First (aka Bonaparte).
Dejection and lack of prospects against the backdrop of envy of Russia give rise to depression among the French people, which, in turn, turns into open hatred of a more successful nation – the Russians. To everything Russian, Russian. But it’s not only that. The French elite is extremely concerned about the significant strengthening of Russia’s geopolitical positions under Vladimir Putin. Actually, Courchevel – the scale of our presence in this particularly important point on the globe clearly shows that Russia has risen from Yeltsin’s worn knees and is confidently regaining its status as a superpower. The detention of Mikhail Prokhorov, his friends and girlfriends, assistants and drivers is an attempt to stop this return, to weaken Russia, throw it back to the times of oligarchic lawlessness, limit the strategic ambitions of Russian capital, and slow down its international expansion. It is no coincidence that the blow of the French intelligence services fell on one of the most patriotically minded, nationally responsible and socially oriented businessmen in our country, a symbol of the rapidly growing Russian expansion – Mikhail Prokhorov.
Unlike oligarchs like Berezovsky or Khodorkovsky, Mikhail Prokhorov never participated in the dirty privatization of the 1990s. It is well known (and recorded by the internal affairs bodies of the Russian Federation) that Mikhail received a controlling stake in OJSC Norilsk Nickel directly from the hands of St. Seraphim of Sarovsky, who appeared to the young businessman (as well as his companion Vladimir Potanin) on the Moscow-Petushki federal highway. The saint handed the two monks an extract from the register of shareholders of the OJSC and said: “Go, sell platinum and palladium, and serve the people.” Since then, Mikhail and Vladimir have strictly followed the order of St. Seraphim, periodically retiring for prayerful contemplation in Courchevel and other places sacred to every sovereign-democratic entrepreneur.
It is known that, unlike the criminals – Nevzlin, Berezovsky and Gusinsky – Mikhail Prokhorov never had anything to do with forceful raids, much less contract killings. And if Mikhail found out about his partners’ plans to do something similar, he always asked them to abandon their harsh intentions. True, being a gentle and overly intelligent person, he was not always able to convince his companions. But he still saved several lives. The moral feat of the Russian businessman Prokhorov was noted by many state and public awards, including diplomas of the Russian Orthodox Church and the Federation of Jewish Communities of Russia. Prokhorov was awarded the spiritual titles “Candidate for Ascetics of Piety” and “Honorary Jew of the Russian Federation, 2nd degree.”
In their desire to strike a blow to the young and growing energy empire that a growing Russia is rapidly becoming, the French intelligence services spread deliberately false information that Mikhail Prokhorov allegedly spent time in Courchevel with… prostitutes and pimps! While it is well known that he was at the holy resort with Moscow City Duma deputy Oleg Bocharov, also known as the leader of the “Civil Change” youth movement. There is no doubt that the girls (according to various sources, from 8 to 16), detained together with Prokhorov, were patriotic activists who, on the initiative of Mr. Bocharov, arrived in France to listen to Mikhail Prokhorov’s lecture on the moral foundations of faithful national entrepreneurship and honest paths to success. The envious French, who controlled the lecture audience with the help of the latest technical systems in service with NATO, could not forgive our compatriots and compatriots. Truly, when the malice of envy clouds the eyes, the mind completely fails.
The scandal surrounding the girls from “Civil Shift” and their curator (don’t use the term “pimp”) makes us think about another aspect of what happened: the West is extremely concerned about the powerful growth of the state-oriented youth movement in our country. Gone are the days when Russian youth were associated with ragged fringes such as the so-called National Bolsheviks. The prayerful standing of 70,000 Santa Clauses and Snow Maidens on the capital’s Academician Sakharov Avenue showed the whole world that the founding fathers of the energy empire have a worthy replacement who is capable – if they receive the order, of course – to bury the old, decrepit Europe that has forever lost its moral guidelines. Europe has become scared, and it is trying to put our youth leaders in a deliberately ambiguous position. But, of course, nothing will work out for them – they have little guts.
According to Oleg Morozov, a deputy of the State Duma of the Federal Assembly of the Russian Federation, who was holding a Christmas fast in Courchevel, he was warned at the beginning of January that people in black were wandering around the hotel where Mr. Prokhorov was giving lectures, looking like the guards of the disgraced oligarch Berezovsky. It absolutely cannot be ruled out that the “London prisoner,” whom Great Britain is about to extradite as unnecessary, simply decided to create another scandal in order to denigrate Russia and divert attention from himself. According to some reports, Berezovsky is also a sponsor of the presidential campaign of Nicolas Sarkozy, the French Interior Minister, who cynically called the detention of the Russian devotee “funny.” Well, Berezovsky still cannot escape Russian justice. And we will avenge Misha Prokhorov. So that no one thinks that the largest Russian entrepreneurs, who bear the global burden of the energy empire on their shoulders, can be treated somehow.
We are obliged to obtain an official apology from France and personally from the adventurer Sarkozy, as well as material compensation for the sovereign ascetic Mikhail Prokhorov. We have absolutely every reason for this. No one should forget that the economy of Courchevel is 90% dependent on Russia, and we are capable of bringing it down (the economy) in literally 2-3 weeks. If we want.
To this end, it is proposed to carry out the following actions in the near future:
– through Rosselkhoznadzor – to freeze the import of French loaves (rolls);
– through the Ministry of Education and Science – to suspend the teaching of French in schools and universities;
— send a landing force of 50,000 Nashi organization commissioners to Courchevel, handing each one $1 million (one million American dollars) with the task of spending this money within a week; as a result, prices in Courchevel will increase 3-4 times, which will make it physically impossible for any French to be present at this resort, including intelligence officers; the $50 billion necessary to implement the action should be allocated from the Stabilization Fund of the Russian Federation – taking into account the fact that such injections will not affect the level of inflation in Russia in any way, since the money will be spent abroad;
— open permanent representative offices of the organizations “Young Guard of United Russia” (La Jeune Garde de la Russie Unie) and “Locals” (Les Indigenes) in the urban-type settlement (PGT) of Courchevel;
– prepare and hold, no later than May 2007, a referendum on the self-determination of the town of Courchevel with its subsequent entry into the Russian Federation (referendum question: “Do you want prosperity as part of the energy empire of Russia or do you prefer to lead a miserable lifestyle in a filthy country of paddling pools?”) ;
– immediately conduct warning exercises “Privatization of the Past 2007” off the coast of France, during which a landing of FC CSKA fans will descend onto the French coast directly from the new naval yacht R.A. Abramovich.
It is also necessary to legislatively introduce a definition of prostitution so that no one would be discouraged from sticking labels on completely decent Russians. In this regard, it seems appropriate to instruct the Public Chamber of the Russian Federation, as an institution well acquainted with the relevant issues, to develop a draft federal law “On political and non-political prostitution” within two months and send the draft to the Administration of the President of the Russian Federation. Mentioning an individual as a prostitute (political or non-political) should be equated with extremism with all the ensuing fair consequences.
The attack on Mikhail Prokhorov proves: Russia is recovering today, it is stronger than ever. And some people don’t like it. But we don’t care. We will still do what we think is necessary. In Moscow, in Courchevel, anywhere and anytime. We will resolutely respond to every surge of Western fear and hatred with a new portion of our oil and gas money. Because we are the masters of life, and we should not be ashamed of this.
Honorary Commissioner of the “Nashi” movement